Seem like ages ago since I returned from the hospital and sat in my living room with a big sigh of relief that I actually made it home. I don't think I'll ever experience such a sense of gratitude in my life. I had to ask myself, "Did that just actually happen?! Again? Do I have nine lives?" Recovery at home has not been easy. I tried to ween off the steroids that help with brain inflammation too quickly and I almost had to go back to the hospital. Such strange neurological symptoms come up when this happens and I was experiencing imbalance and not even knowing where my left hands and legs were. Now that I've adjusted the meds properly, the symptoms have gone away and I am much better than I was last week.
Since I've been in the hospital, I have thought a lot about the last two months and how I came to come into this situation again. It's hard not to second guess my decisions along the way but I know I have to remember that everything I decided in the past was greatly thought out and it doesn't help to look back. I do know that I wanted more time for all the therapies to do it's magic but in the end, the cancer worked faster so now we have to find a different approach to gain better control of my health.
To gather a new game plan, we solicited 2 well known oncologists for opinions. Of course, both of them had differing opinions on how to treat. One wanted to go in with a harder drug to knock the cancer back, then ease off. The other wanted to start with a milder drug but do whole brain radiation which of course I'd like to avoid if possible. In the end, we decided to go with a breast cancer specialist, Dr. Gelmon, who finally spoke the plan that I wanted to hear. We saw her last week when I was in really bad shape and instead of waiting a week for a chemo appointment, we decided to start on an oral chemo pill that night right away. I knew in my gut that waiting the weekend wasn't an option because I was having difficulty sitting, standing, breathing, reading,--everything. I was completely dependent living and couldn't do anything on my own. My body needed chemo asap and even all my gurus agreed that it was time to fight back with something harder.
This chemo pill is taken everyday and works differently than the IV method just because it's a low dose that attacks it daily. You take it for 2 weeks and break for a week. Side effects so far have been minimal. I feel a bit tired and dazed but other than that, my overall functioning has improved. I can't believe I'm typing this blog because this is the first time I've typed in weeks (although this is a real exercise for my mind right now!) It has only been a week so far and we have noticed a difference in me for sure. I am also doing the oncotherm treatments with the pill which should up the efficacy but it's just a big time commitment to go to Langley 3 times a week on top of everything else. I basically have an appointment a day if I want to keep up with acupuncture and healers so I'm trying not to get over exhausted and canceling when I can.
The best thing is that yesterday, I met with Dr. G again and we finally put a plan together that I feel is right for me and not right for their protocol. Instead of jump starting to radiation this week as planned, I will remain on the chemo pill for another week since I am responding to it. Then next week, I will get a CT scan of my head to see if I will need radiation. After a couple of weeks when the cycle of meds is over, she will get a full body CT to see my progress. When we know what is working or not, we can continue with the weaker chemo or switch to the stronger one. Point is, I am going to be monitored closely and the treatment will change as needed which I am way more comfortable with than being pigeon-holed into something I don't want to do.
So I am doing better now and I will continue to get as much rest as possible and get to the healing! :)
Love, J
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Quick Update & Fundraising Photos
Thanks for everyone's concern, Jessica has been home since Sunday and have attended doctors' appointments everyday so far this week. With so much happening, it's hard for her to update the blog often so they have opened a new Twitter account. Go to this link and you will see how she is doing on a more regular basis:
http://twitter.com/GetStrongJess
(Elton will be the one doing most of the updates there.)
The photos from Jessica's amazing Surviving Cancer Fundraising Event, that so many of her friends and family (and their friends and family) have so generously supported, are ready for your viewing! They are still so grateful and touched by the love and thoughts from everyone that night! I am so honored to be able to capture that night for her and I hope you will enjoy the photos too.
http://foreverstill.com/jessica/
As my continued support for Jessica and her family, all profits from the sale of these photographs will go to them. Please refer to the website for more info.
Thanks!
Grace
(Jessica's sister)
http://twitter.com/GetStrongJess
(Elton will be the one doing most of the updates there.)
The photos from Jessica's amazing Surviving Cancer Fundraising Event, that so many of her friends and family (and their friends and family) have so generously supported, are ready for your viewing! They are still so grateful and touched by the love and thoughts from everyone that night! I am so honored to be able to capture that night for her and I hope you will enjoy the photos too.
http://foreverstill.com/jessica/
As my continued support for Jessica and her family, all profits from the sale of these photographs will go to them. Please refer to the website for more info.
Thanks!
Grace
(Jessica's sister)
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Jess Out of Surgery - Posted by Elton
Jess went in to surgery yesterday at 11:30am and I saw her just before 7pm. Though I have yet to speak to her amazing brain surgeon, all signs indicate that the procedure was a success! She looked a lot better than the first time i saw her after her last surgery. Nausea and pain were kept at bay this time around...probably a combination of her putting peppermint oil below her nose pre-surgery, anesthesiast reading notes from previous surgery, Jess' qi gong exercises and Jess just being a lot tougher from having 3 major surgeries in 5 months.
This surgery really is a blessing. The tumor that was removed yesterday was there from September but the surgeon (Dr. H) chose not to remove it at that time because of the risks involved. Due to the size of it now, we had no choice and he was surprised she even has any vision based on its location in the brain. He also said that after this surgery, there is a chance that she will lose vision on the left side of both eyes. But the next day after reviewing Jess' latest MRI, Dr. H said it is actually in a different spot and the surgery should go fine with minimal risks. I have limited knowledge in cancer and scans but it was a relief to hear how this MRI scan showed something different than what 2 previous CT scans and an MRI had indicated.
This is when it gets interesting. Later that evening, Jess calls Obi Wan in China and asks if she is feeling better.Jess WAS feeling better but she thought that may have been the medication she is taking from the hospital. Obi Wan continued, saying that he has been doing qi gong heating on her the last couple of days to MOVE her tumor so she should feel better!! Some may call it a coincidence or a lucky guess but Jess and I believe that he played a part in the tumor being in a better spot and was filled with emotions after he said that. This qi gong really amazes me because ten minutes after hanging up with Obi, Jess was having dinner with us and excused herself from the table because she can feel Obi doing heating on her. When she gets heating from him, she just feels so wiped when only half an hour earlier she is fine. I don't know....Jess and I don't question any miracles,coincidences or blessings that we come across...we just carry on with our journey and the faith that someone is always looking over our shoulder.
Thank you everybody for your thoughts and prayers!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Putting the Fundraiser $ to Good Use
On October 28th, 11 of my closest friends and colleagues decided to pour their hearts together to organize an event to give people an opportunity to support our family in our pursuit of health. Although I was initially reluctant to receive help, this gift could not have been received at a better time. Over 300 people contributed to the fundraising total of over $22000 -many of whom I have never met. That night proved the ripple effect of love and generosity in its highest form. We are forever grateful to all of you and it will be a night i will never forget. We are thankful because this money gives us options and the ability to focus on what's important to get through this. That night gave me a lot of energy with so many familiar faces and warm hugs. It was truly inspiring!
However, over the past 2 weeks, I've been experiencing symptoms that have gradually worsened with some weakening in the left side of my body. Wed night I had a headache, felt nauseous and had shortness of breath. By the end of the week, we knew I needed some help and more information so we went to the ER at RCH to get reassessed. The scans showed that both the brain tumour that was left behind from my previous surgery and the lesions in the lungs have grown. After taking meds to decrease the swelling, I'm feeling a lot better. I will probably have surgery on Wed to remove the brain tumour. The rest of the plan for treatment is up in the air until Monday morning.
As a side note, I went to see Dr. Parmar last week to discuss hyperthermia and put a plan in place to start on Tuesday. The therapies I have been doing are important but with the onset of new neuro symptoms, we needed to bring out the 'big guns'. This chemo pill is different from than the chemo I had in the past because this pill is mild enough to take everyday and can yield positive results with much fewer side effects The chemo pill supplemented with the hyperthermia is the key difference from conventional methods. The technology has been used in Germany for many years and is the standard of care for cancer patients there. I can get this treatment in Fort Langley and put the money raised last month to work. I am involving oncologists while staying the course with my integrative treatments. We know that they have made a difference. This is not my ideal. I've been struggling with the idea of changing my approach, but my game plan has to change.
Things have progressed quickly and there's so many decisions that need to be made. I know that this might come as a shocking news to most of you but the only thing you need to do is to keep me in your prayers. We will try to keep you updated through this blog as much as possible.
However, over the past 2 weeks, I've been experiencing symptoms that have gradually worsened with some weakening in the left side of my body. Wed night I had a headache, felt nauseous and had shortness of breath. By the end of the week, we knew I needed some help and more information so we went to the ER at RCH to get reassessed. The scans showed that both the brain tumour that was left behind from my previous surgery and the lesions in the lungs have grown. After taking meds to decrease the swelling, I'm feeling a lot better. I will probably have surgery on Wed to remove the brain tumour. The rest of the plan for treatment is up in the air until Monday morning.
As a side note, I went to see Dr. Parmar last week to discuss hyperthermia and put a plan in place to start on Tuesday. The therapies I have been doing are important but with the onset of new neuro symptoms, we needed to bring out the 'big guns'. This chemo pill is different from than the chemo I had in the past because this pill is mild enough to take everyday and can yield positive results with much fewer side effects The chemo pill supplemented with the hyperthermia is the key difference from conventional methods. The technology has been used in Germany for many years and is the standard of care for cancer patients there. I can get this treatment in Fort Langley and put the money raised last month to work. I am involving oncologists while staying the course with my integrative treatments. We know that they have made a difference. This is not my ideal. I've been struggling with the idea of changing my approach, but my game plan has to change.
Things have progressed quickly and there's so many decisions that need to be made. I know that this might come as a shocking news to most of you but the only thing you need to do is to keep me in your prayers. We will try to keep you updated through this blog as much as possible.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
My A-Team
It's only been a couple of weeks since I've written but it seems like a month. I've forgotten that I haven't even explained the treatments I am doing. We have been so busy with appointments that time really flies. Since my last post, I have been seeing the herbalist/acupuncturist (Dr. Wong) and the qi gong master (I'll rename "Obi Wan" as a sign of respect because he seriously does have the force within!) Each expert is a serious healer in their own right, have degrees in both western and eastern medicine, and have a very zen-like qualities.
Dr. Wong's main talent is his ability to prescribe chinese herbs and acupuncture. He tailors the prescription for 6-8 days at a time. He operates out of his enormous pink house on the west side, straight out of the 90's (brass accents, glass, and fake floral arrangements--I thought I stepped into the Phillips house!). You go around the back and down the stairs where he has a sliding door and a sitting area. You may see 2 people waiting or 10. Whatever the case is, people are always streaming out of each of the rooms and it's hard to keep track. He wears a lab coat and is over 70 years old but looks like he's 50. He has a heavy mandarin accent when he speaks english and always jokes about how he can't retire even though he doesn't need the money because his patients won't let him (I'm like, "Stop charging me then!") He is a bit of a celebrity in China and is well known in what he does which is why he wanted to get away from it all and come to Vancouver. All the other patients and even the people at the herbal store, have numerous healing stories of Dr. Wong to tell--from m.s., advanced lung cancer with a respirator, to someone who couldn't walk. He himself is not shy about sharing his own stories and says to me once, "I saved that guy's life 2 times. Her 1 time." Even Elt is seeing him to see if he can straighten out his eye which stung him pretty bad that first time in which Dr. Wong responded, "The acupuncture you had before was needles to skin. This is acupuncture (chuckle, chuckle)." He has a lot of breast cancer patients and half of his patients are caucasian. Lots of people we spoke to have seen him for over 20 years. All he does is check my pulse, look at my tongue, and pokes about 8 needles in me. Sometimes it stings a bit but in the half hour or so that I lie there, my body gets really cold and then really warm. When I'm warmed up, I know it's time to go. I go there 3 times a week. He makes a lot of cash business and I laugh because he keeps it all in a desk drawer which I'm sure you know bugs the heck out of me.
Obi's personality is totally opposite of Dr. Wong (no beauty products here!). When I think of him, I think of the word "organic". He has a lot of grey hair and his beard is long and contains a lot of wisdom. He is humble, direct, serious, and natural. He lives a simple life and does not believe in materialism. I go to his house where I hung out so many times as a teenager, and there's usually no one else there. He is very against over charging patients and even has a kale garden for me to access so how could he do wrong? Obi has a warm persona and over the last two weeks, I really feel like he's really watching my progress closely and tries to steer me in the right direction of healing since he has helped so many people before. He told me the patient he sees every night was someone who was told they were going to die 4 months ago. His advice has always stuck to me from the first time we met: 1) determination, 2) patience, 3) hard work. Qi Gong is the art of breathing, transferring energy called "heating", and meditation. Obi has taught me a series of 6 exercises to do once a day and takes almost an hour. When I see him, he places his hands on different parts of my head, shoulders, back, and stomach and transfers energy into those areas. Sometimes I feel the warmth of his hands or a gentle pull in my core in a certain direction. I did make what Obi said was great progress on our 3rd session and was very happy he was able to penetrate his energy in the side of my head where I had my surgery. He told me yesterday, "I didn't want to tell you before but your head was like a brick! Very hard...I was very worried. But now, it will be okay." Before that my pulse was so low that we could never find it! However, after that session, we could feel my pulse ever since.
The amazing thing is that Obi can treat me even when we're not in the same room! We did 2 sessions while he was in Edmonton and 2 sessions when I felt sick over the weekend. I just call him up, hang up, sit relaxed and focused, and he'll apply the heating. I think I can feel it stronger when he does it remotely like that so it's pretty amazing! As of last night he went away to China and Taiwan for 3-4 months so we'll be corresponding by phone. Of course, he doesn't usually get a cell phone but like I say, he really wants to see me through this so he has gotten a phone so I can contact him. I will be continuing qi gong treatments 3 times a week for a couple of weeks just to get back on my feet. Thank you H.S. so much for telling me to calling him initially. The experience has been invaluable and I'm just glad to have someone like that in my life. He even gave me a hug yesterday when we parted. :)
Since we have starting treatment, I am feeling confident that I have made the right choice. There are no certainties in life and when it comes down to it, it's up to me to do the work. So what is the work? Daily: 45 minute walk, chinese herbal medicine that takes 1 1/2 hours to boil and then split into 3 portions, 2 green veggie juices, mushroom herbal medicine that boils for 1 1/2 hours and drunk twice a day (every other day), and an hour of meditation exercises a night. Under the advice of all experts, I am trying to really wind down by 9 when the kids go to sleep because as of now, I barely have time to do the exercises which should be a priority. So if I don't answer calls or emails, you know what I'll be doing--not watching t.v.! I am still thinking of the naturopathic oncologist but honestly, I just don't have the time right now to see him. I almost feel like there's too many cooks in the kitchen and I need to just get used to this grind first before I can take on more advice.
The raw food is totally sliding away because the weather change has not helped. I feel like I still need to keep a lot of restrictions on my diet but cooked food has to be half or more of my day. Dr. Wong said I could have some congee so I jumped on that! I think food will always be a hot topic and every expert has their own opinions but I just try to take from the majority. However, if I don't allow some flexibility after such a long cleanse, I am seriously going to hate food and that's not something that will be helpful to healing. So we'll continue plugging away and see where this path takes me...
A few honorable mentions: Elt because he has been superdad in the mornings. He lets me sleep in and the meantime, has to dress the kids, feed them, pack Aidan's lunch, start my herbs, make our green juice (20 min.) and get Aidan to school. All usually within the hour which we were barely doing as a couple; Elt's mom who has been filling in for my mom and has been over everyday to just do dishes and garbage; and Nancy and Lucia because they have been surrogate parents to Aidan who never knows who's picking him up after school but is always glad it's one of them! Thank you all!
Love, J
Dr. Wong's main talent is his ability to prescribe chinese herbs and acupuncture. He tailors the prescription for 6-8 days at a time. He operates out of his enormous pink house on the west side, straight out of the 90's (brass accents, glass, and fake floral arrangements--I thought I stepped into the Phillips house!). You go around the back and down the stairs where he has a sliding door and a sitting area. You may see 2 people waiting or 10. Whatever the case is, people are always streaming out of each of the rooms and it's hard to keep track. He wears a lab coat and is over 70 years old but looks like he's 50. He has a heavy mandarin accent when he speaks english and always jokes about how he can't retire even though he doesn't need the money because his patients won't let him (I'm like, "Stop charging me then!") He is a bit of a celebrity in China and is well known in what he does which is why he wanted to get away from it all and come to Vancouver. All the other patients and even the people at the herbal store, have numerous healing stories of Dr. Wong to tell--from m.s., advanced lung cancer with a respirator, to someone who couldn't walk. He himself is not shy about sharing his own stories and says to me once, "I saved that guy's life 2 times. Her 1 time." Even Elt is seeing him to see if he can straighten out his eye which stung him pretty bad that first time in which Dr. Wong responded, "The acupuncture you had before was needles to skin. This is acupuncture (chuckle, chuckle)." He has a lot of breast cancer patients and half of his patients are caucasian. Lots of people we spoke to have seen him for over 20 years. All he does is check my pulse, look at my tongue, and pokes about 8 needles in me. Sometimes it stings a bit but in the half hour or so that I lie there, my body gets really cold and then really warm. When I'm warmed up, I know it's time to go. I go there 3 times a week. He makes a lot of cash business and I laugh because he keeps it all in a desk drawer which I'm sure you know bugs the heck out of me.
Obi's personality is totally opposite of Dr. Wong (no beauty products here!). When I think of him, I think of the word "organic". He has a lot of grey hair and his beard is long and contains a lot of wisdom. He is humble, direct, serious, and natural. He lives a simple life and does not believe in materialism. I go to his house where I hung out so many times as a teenager, and there's usually no one else there. He is very against over charging patients and even has a kale garden for me to access so how could he do wrong? Obi has a warm persona and over the last two weeks, I really feel like he's really watching my progress closely and tries to steer me in the right direction of healing since he has helped so many people before. He told me the patient he sees every night was someone who was told they were going to die 4 months ago. His advice has always stuck to me from the first time we met: 1) determination, 2) patience, 3) hard work. Qi Gong is the art of breathing, transferring energy called "heating", and meditation. Obi has taught me a series of 6 exercises to do once a day and takes almost an hour. When I see him, he places his hands on different parts of my head, shoulders, back, and stomach and transfers energy into those areas. Sometimes I feel the warmth of his hands or a gentle pull in my core in a certain direction. I did make what Obi said was great progress on our 3rd session and was very happy he was able to penetrate his energy in the side of my head where I had my surgery. He told me yesterday, "I didn't want to tell you before but your head was like a brick! Very hard...I was very worried. But now, it will be okay." Before that my pulse was so low that we could never find it! However, after that session, we could feel my pulse ever since.
The amazing thing is that Obi can treat me even when we're not in the same room! We did 2 sessions while he was in Edmonton and 2 sessions when I felt sick over the weekend. I just call him up, hang up, sit relaxed and focused, and he'll apply the heating. I think I can feel it stronger when he does it remotely like that so it's pretty amazing! As of last night he went away to China and Taiwan for 3-4 months so we'll be corresponding by phone. Of course, he doesn't usually get a cell phone but like I say, he really wants to see me through this so he has gotten a phone so I can contact him. I will be continuing qi gong treatments 3 times a week for a couple of weeks just to get back on my feet. Thank you H.S. so much for telling me to calling him initially. The experience has been invaluable and I'm just glad to have someone like that in my life. He even gave me a hug yesterday when we parted. :)
Since we have starting treatment, I am feeling confident that I have made the right choice. There are no certainties in life and when it comes down to it, it's up to me to do the work. So what is the work? Daily: 45 minute walk, chinese herbal medicine that takes 1 1/2 hours to boil and then split into 3 portions, 2 green veggie juices, mushroom herbal medicine that boils for 1 1/2 hours and drunk twice a day (every other day), and an hour of meditation exercises a night. Under the advice of all experts, I am trying to really wind down by 9 when the kids go to sleep because as of now, I barely have time to do the exercises which should be a priority. So if I don't answer calls or emails, you know what I'll be doing--not watching t.v.! I am still thinking of the naturopathic oncologist but honestly, I just don't have the time right now to see him. I almost feel like there's too many cooks in the kitchen and I need to just get used to this grind first before I can take on more advice.
The raw food is totally sliding away because the weather change has not helped. I feel like I still need to keep a lot of restrictions on my diet but cooked food has to be half or more of my day. Dr. Wong said I could have some congee so I jumped on that! I think food will always be a hot topic and every expert has their own opinions but I just try to take from the majority. However, if I don't allow some flexibility after such a long cleanse, I am seriously going to hate food and that's not something that will be helpful to healing. So we'll continue plugging away and see where this path takes me...
A few honorable mentions: Elt because he has been superdad in the mornings. He lets me sleep in and the meantime, has to dress the kids, feed them, pack Aidan's lunch, start my herbs, make our green juice (20 min.) and get Aidan to school. All usually within the hour which we were barely doing as a couple; Elt's mom who has been filling in for my mom and has been over everyday to just do dishes and garbage; and Nancy and Lucia because they have been surrogate parents to Aidan who never knows who's picking him up after school but is always glad it's one of them! Thank you all!
Love, J
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