I guess some of you have been wondering about how I have been doing since the last treatment but it's taken me some time to write about it because once I feel better after a few days, I don't think much of it anymore. My chemo was in the afternoon and I chowed down before treatment and ate 3 bowls of congee (not at the same time!) when I came home. The nausea wasn't as bad as the first time since I was able to eat something afterwards but I still did feel pretty nauseated--it just started later. I only vomited once and then went to bed for the night around 11pm. The next morning I was already feeling so much better and could have the usual soup to ease the stomach. The recovery process was about the same amount of time and by the 5th day, I was feeling normal again. Since then, I have just been busy with the usual holiday stuff of Xmas shopping, seeing friends, and going out. Normal life has to return quickly because the 5 days I am in bed, Elt has 3 kids to look after including me (the worst kid ever) and I know the strain it has on him. I know my requests for drinks and having food reheated can only last so long before he notices I am more capable, hehe.
We did start the injections and my poor sis couldn't help but let out a little gasp when she saw that the syringes were just normal ones and not the short needles she was used to with the gestational diabetes. We watched a little "how to" video on the computer, the nurse reviewed the process, and then my sis did it. Not really bad, just like any flu shot but I have to have one every couple days--7 times total for each chemo cycle. We laugh every time we do it because we try to pick the least painful spot which they recommend around the belly button area (has most fat), but a little pinch is unavoidable. I'm a guinea pig at times, trying different spots and techniques (faster/slower) to see which hurt the least. By the time we get the hang of it, we won't have to do it anymore! I know I'm just being a big baby about it but it's just that I hate needles and it's NOT my cup of tea.
Our appointment with the genetic counsellor was really interesting so if anyone would like more information about that, let me know. The results will take two months, not three, and I will only have a 10% chance of being a carrier of a mutated gene. The results will impact my decision on the mastectomy but most importantly, on whether or not I will need to remove my ovaries since having the gene would predispose me to ovarian cancer by 45%. Ovarian cancer is very hard to detect and there is no screening test for it so removal of the ovaries would be an option for the future.
I have gotten used to wearing hats in public and prefer not to use the wig (don't mention to Elt!) The half wig is made of synthetic material and can get super hot around the neck. I can't get used to the bangs on the regular wig so if I was going to put a hat over it anyway, I might as well not wear it. When I am at home, I always wear a hat because otherwise it feels like my hair is wet or something--very breezy up there. My hair is so short, it doesn't come out very much in my hat unless I am showering so there is no mess. I am glad I cut it when I did and haven't regretted it since.
Many people ask me how I am doing and seem concerned even when I tell them I am doing fine. Maybe it doesn't seem as if it should be that "easy" but truthfully, I don't have any negative thoughts. I don't focus on whether the tumor feels smaller or whether my hair has completely fallen out yet. It's more of a passing thought like "Oh yeah, I have a horseshoe thing going on my scalp now!" I'm definitely more preoccupied with day-to-day things with the family and am more appreciative of every little moment that I feel great and can do what I want. It sucks to have to lay in bed and have the kids come to me but at the same time, I know that I will feel better the next day so I just look forward to that. Once I feel better within that week of chemo, all the side effects go away and stay away.
My next treatment is Xmas eve which isn't ideal to say the least but I will be celebrating a day earlier since the kids have no clue about dates anyway. Although I will miss Boxing Day shopping (the saddest part of all), I am not bummed out about it because I feel so grateful for all the generosity I have received in the past two months from friends and family. I am guilty for the attention because I feel good for the most part yet the cancer perks keep coming! I know that a major part of my positive mental health is due to all the support that I have and I want to thank everybody again for being there for us. This has definitely been a group effort and I won't ever forget your kindness.
Happy holidays and wishes for good health in 2011!
Love, J
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