Yes, I am finally seeing the light! Only ONE more radiation to go on Monday and I am done. Crazy to think it's over already but it has been a very busy month and a half for us. When the appointment times change daily, it can really disrupt your day. One day after complaining about having to wait 3 hours in between an appointment and radiation, I was told, "Oh, you should have come in. We would have just fit you in--we do it all the time!" Since then, I haven't really been following my scheduled times, haha. It makes life a lot easier though so I can still drop off and pick up Aidan from school, save on parking, and most importantly, save on TIME. I've gotten to know the radiation therapists well and it was easy to see them everyday because they kept things light and cheerful. Aidan often came with me on non-school days and he was allowed to help push buttons on the radiation table and even speak to me through the mic. My skin is just starting to peel a little this week like a bad sunburn but all in all, I am considered lucky. I hardly took naps during the day and was able to power through the day as usual so there's not much to complain about.
This week I had 3 doctor's appointments! The first person I saw was my surgeon, Dr. D. Interesting points from that meeting: 1) She was pleased with the results of radiation and noticed considerable shrinkage of tumor and nodes, 2) She wanted to make sure the surgery was going to take place promptly, 3) She wanted me to have a less complicated reconstructive surgery option (4 hours vs. 8 hours). I told her I was more concerned about having a successful surgery than the reconstruction and that I would forgo the reconstruction if necessary. However, since most of the breast skin would have to be removed along with the tumor, reconstruction of some sort would have to take place because there wouldn't be enough skin left to close the wound. She strongly recommended that I get a different kind of reconstructive surgery that had less chance for complications due to my compromised immune system and past lengthy treatments. She said she would speak to the plastic surgeon to discuss the change in plans and schedule a date.
On Thursday, I saw my oncologist, Dr. S. She was also pleased with the outcome of the radiation. To let you know the kind of care I am getting, she asked me, "So, do you need anything from me now? Is there anything i need to advocate for you for surgery?" Amazing! She explained I would get another injection of hormones instead of starting on tamoxifen (the drug I would be on for 5 years after surgery) because there was a slight risk of the drug causing complications during surgery. The injected drug and the tamoxifen (which is a pill) does the same thing--shut of the production of estrogen, so it doesn't really matter what I use as long as I am getting something.
On Friday, I got a surprise call from my plastic surgeon, Dr. M who wanted to see me in the afternoon. She had spoken to Dr. D and wanted to go over other options with me. Luckily, one very yucky surgery that involves taking a flap of skin from my back was ruled out! Not enough back fat, thank goodness! So, we are going for the "pedicled tram flap" rather than the "diep flap". The main difference is 4 hours less surgery time and the removal of some muscle from the tummy which could hurt a bit more afterwards. The longer surgery has a better recovery but requires more skill which Dr. M definitely has. I think I will get a second opinion from my oncologist before a final decision is made. Either way, the date is set for June 30 at VGH. Another perk is on that day, Dr. M performs surgery with her colleague who is one of the best plastic surgeons in the lower mainland so I will have 3 awesome surgeons in the room. Strangely enough, he will be the first male doc on my team! I am in good hands and am not worried. If you dare to read more information on the surgery, this was a pretty good link I found: http://www.breastreconstruction.org/TypesOfReconstruction/diep_flap.html
We are still hoping to do a short getaway before surgery so if anyone has any ideas for a relaxing place that is nearby, let me know. We were actually trying to book a vacation to Cabo during the week of the surgery but it will have to wait until the fall now. It will be a better time anyway since I will be completely recovered and can actually sit in the sun.
Here's to more sun and less rain in June!
J
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Speed Bumps
The last week of April was a bit grueling. While I was waiting for my PET scan, I was experiencing all these symptoms that made me start to doubt myself. Every time I lay in bed to watch tv, my legs would get numb and tired and wouldn't really go away if I tried to stretch them out. The bone in the middle of my chest was aching and made me think something was wrong with my lungs, and then my breast was swollen. I held it together over the long weekend but when I showed up at the PET scan office on Wednesday morning and they said, "Sorry, we can't do it today," I almost lost it on the girl. They had a problem with the machine and needed to reset it which takes 2 hours, blah blah, I couldn't even remember what she said. All I knew was that I had to wait another 2-4 days. I went home defeated and waited for the call from the manager and they ended up scheduling me in for Friday with a $350 discount.
In the meantime, I finally got to see my radiation oncologist. This was the appointment I had been waiting for since I had not seen a doctor in 3 weeks, the last time in which I was told by my regular oncologist that I was switching to radiation. Many questions still loomed over my mind--why couldn't I have continued with a different kind of chemo? Why are we doing radiation before surgery again? Why isn't it a good idea to take this mother-of-a-thing out of my breast already? And most importantly, are we sure that we are doing the RIGHT thing?! And that's exactly how my appointment started. I said, "I need you to tell me that we are doing the right thing." My doctor put her hands on my shoulders, looked me in the eye, and told me what I needed to hear. She told me that when chemo is not working, then we need to do something completely different. Some people react to radiation and not chemo, and vice versa. The important thing was to remember that I was getting treatment right now. The order of radiation and surgery doesn't matter because I need both in the end. However, to do radiation first will give me a better surgical outcome because if the tumour shrinks away from the skin more, then they won't have to graft skin from elsewhere. Also, radiation treats the lymph nodes in the neck whereas those nodes will not be removed in surgery (only the ones under the arm will be removed). She also told me the pain the in chest was due to the radiation, as well as the swelling of the breast. So I walked away from the appointment with a sigh of relief and calmed my fears.
As for the numbness in my legs, I forgot to mention earlier that I had a hormone injected in me before radiation started. The purpose is to shut off the estrogen in my body and put me in a premenopausal state. Anyways, later that night, I remembered a 10 minute lecture from the pharmacist about the side effects--the most important one being that the hormone can create blood clots so it was important for me to circulate my legs if I was to sit for long periods of time like on an airplane! Duh! Totally forgot. So much for having cancer in my legs. It was in that moment that I realized what a waste of time it was to think negatively. It has truly been an easy road for me up to this point to be positive but until that speed bump comes before you and shakes your belief system, you can get caught up pretty quickly the uncertainty of it all. So I decided at that moment that I was going to be FINE and that nothing was going to stop me from beating this f'n thing. And just like that, I went into my scan without any anxiety and came out of it without needing to look at the results before hearing from a doctor after the weekend.
So...the results are "good" and the cancer has not spread anywhere else besides the breast and lymph nodes. I still have a long road ahead of me but my energy levels are pretty good and my skin has been holding up during radiation. Elt went out and invested in a Vitamix (yes, it's an investment!) and has been blending up some serious fruit and veggie cocktails for me--even the kids love it. I just want to enjoy every minute and make the most of my days before I have surgery. Aidan and I started a "Fun List" since we can't plan any vacations at this time and there are plenty of things to do right here in Vancouver. Last weekend we spent the day at Central Park which has two ponds filled with ducks, a trail that is surrounded by squirrels, and an awesome playground! Who knew? And I have only been living here for 30 years!
Since it's Mother's Day weekend, I want to give a special thanks to our two moms who take shifts to help us babysit, cook, and clean every week. We couldn't get through this without either one of them. I'm also so grateful to be a mom since my kids keep me smiling every day.
Happy Mom's Day, J
In the meantime, I finally got to see my radiation oncologist. This was the appointment I had been waiting for since I had not seen a doctor in 3 weeks, the last time in which I was told by my regular oncologist that I was switching to radiation. Many questions still loomed over my mind--why couldn't I have continued with a different kind of chemo? Why are we doing radiation before surgery again? Why isn't it a good idea to take this mother-of-a-thing out of my breast already? And most importantly, are we sure that we are doing the RIGHT thing?! And that's exactly how my appointment started. I said, "I need you to tell me that we are doing the right thing." My doctor put her hands on my shoulders, looked me in the eye, and told me what I needed to hear. She told me that when chemo is not working, then we need to do something completely different. Some people react to radiation and not chemo, and vice versa. The important thing was to remember that I was getting treatment right now. The order of radiation and surgery doesn't matter because I need both in the end. However, to do radiation first will give me a better surgical outcome because if the tumour shrinks away from the skin more, then they won't have to graft skin from elsewhere. Also, radiation treats the lymph nodes in the neck whereas those nodes will not be removed in surgery (only the ones under the arm will be removed). She also told me the pain the in chest was due to the radiation, as well as the swelling of the breast. So I walked away from the appointment with a sigh of relief and calmed my fears.
As for the numbness in my legs, I forgot to mention earlier that I had a hormone injected in me before radiation started. The purpose is to shut off the estrogen in my body and put me in a premenopausal state. Anyways, later that night, I remembered a 10 minute lecture from the pharmacist about the side effects--the most important one being that the hormone can create blood clots so it was important for me to circulate my legs if I was to sit for long periods of time like on an airplane! Duh! Totally forgot. So much for having cancer in my legs. It was in that moment that I realized what a waste of time it was to think negatively. It has truly been an easy road for me up to this point to be positive but until that speed bump comes before you and shakes your belief system, you can get caught up pretty quickly the uncertainty of it all. So I decided at that moment that I was going to be FINE and that nothing was going to stop me from beating this f'n thing. And just like that, I went into my scan without any anxiety and came out of it without needing to look at the results before hearing from a doctor after the weekend.
So...the results are "good" and the cancer has not spread anywhere else besides the breast and lymph nodes. I still have a long road ahead of me but my energy levels are pretty good and my skin has been holding up during radiation. Elt went out and invested in a Vitamix (yes, it's an investment!) and has been blending up some serious fruit and veggie cocktails for me--even the kids love it. I just want to enjoy every minute and make the most of my days before I have surgery. Aidan and I started a "Fun List" since we can't plan any vacations at this time and there are plenty of things to do right here in Vancouver. Last weekend we spent the day at Central Park which has two ponds filled with ducks, a trail that is surrounded by squirrels, and an awesome playground! Who knew? And I have only been living here for 30 years!
Since it's Mother's Day weekend, I want to give a special thanks to our two moms who take shifts to help us babysit, cook, and clean every week. We couldn't get through this without either one of them. I'm also so grateful to be a mom since my kids keep me smiling every day.
Happy Mom's Day, J
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